February 2012

The invention of the World Wide Web opened up the world. Any kind of music, type of movie, cartoon, gif and web short is just a mouse click away. Google Earth shows you places you never dreamed existed. Chat Roulette puts you in touch with topless people from Rio to Bangkok. The world is bigger, faster and clearer than it ever was before. But all that access can’t stop people from slumping down in front of their screens, sighing “Im bored” and slipping slowly into the four stages of internet boredom.

Stage One - Restlessness

You've been watching short "funny" clips on YouTube for hours. You never thought it would happen, but watching a baby capuchin monkey feed a baby duck isn't as endearing as it was four replays ago. Browsing through user channels is just making you sad for humanity. None of it is funny, engaging or entertaining. You watch it anyway. There's lots of eye rolling and clicking ahead. You've got an itch feeling in your mouse hand, your chair is less comfortable than you remember. You feel it coming, that frustrating feeling. "Im bored" is on the tip of your lips. You know it, the video of the 2-year-old singing Lady Gaga knows it. You're just not ready to admit it yet. Maybe the next video will be funny.

Desperation made you admit it. You're clicking the mouse obnoxiously loudly now. What’s that feeling? Hunger? Maybe. The short Hot Pocket break calms the rage a little bit. But now you’ve already eaten it, but you've eaten it, there's nothing on TV and short of yelling "I'm bored!". You try repeating it a few times. Maybe that will make it better? Now your roommates are gone and the walls are starting to close in. Did that wall clock always tick so loudly?

Stage Three - Trying to Cope

There is nothing more terrifying than the boredom of an empty house and a worn-out favorites tab. You Google "Im bored", nothing. Panic starts to set in. What if there's nothing new on the web ever? Then you remember that not-the-internet exists, where your roommates escaped your withdrawal-induced "Im bored" chanting. It’s too early to call the friends you haven't alienated yet. Inviting someone over for "Im bored" drinks before 11am is just asking for an intervention. Intervention! You dust off the TV and turn it on, scream then turn it off. The voice inside your head won't stop screaming "Im bored". When did they do that to daytime television?! Walking the dog is a failed adventure. People look worried as you shuffle around mumbling "I'm bored". And who turned the sun up so high? Back to the internet.

How is nothing new uploaded yet? It's been nearly 15 minutes since you checked your three favorite blogs. What is going on with the world? Impotent rage starts to rise up from the pit of your stomach. You open Gmail to write a scathing letter to your three favorite blogs about their responsibility to their users entitled "Im bored". Then, suddenly you remember that there are other internet sites out there. You've been wallowing in the wasteland of crappy content, re-blogs and recycled pic dumps and grunting "I'm bored" for no reason.
That’s why we created uZeless, the website made for "people who are totally bored...and looking for something." It's just what you're looking for: all the best strange, funny, WTF-inducing and awesomely uZeless stuff from all around the web. Enough pics, news, vids and posts to keep you busy until it’s time to go back to work, also known as that thing you have to do in order to keep the internet on.